Managing your community……………………
“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar” – Robert Brault
Be your own rainbow – managing your community
“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar” – Robert Brault
So, who are the people in your life that have your back, no matter what?
Going through life, we all build our communities of; family members, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. With each member of our community, we will share and enjoy varying degrees of emotional, physical and psychological closeness. Achieving the right balance, is what matters here. Not everyone is going to be or needs to be in your inner circle. Reviewing your community may seem harsh and a bit ruthless, but which friendships are worth continuing? Given the time and effort it takes to maintain and sustain a meaningful relationship. It might well be worth asking yourself, who are the people who really ‘have my back’ and who are the people that without a moment’s notice I would drop everything to go and support if necessary?
Is it time to also consider the size of your community? Is it at a size where you can enjoy and contribute to it? Or is it too big, or perhaps too small? Are you saying yes to a lot of social engagements simply, because you don’t want to feel left out? And what happens once you are there, are you really showing up? Being, nice, rather than real?
Life taking a sudden turn for the worse, might be when you realize and appreciate the caliber of the people around you. Maybe it is time to review each friendship in turn and ask yourself, am I getting what I need here? As importantly, are you able to contribute meaningfully to this friendship? Perhaps, you are not in a place to offer the support and friendship someone else really needs.
So, if you were to draw a small circle and put yourself in the middle with increasing concentric circles, around it, who would be the people in the circle closest to you? How would you describe the level of trust and mutual support between you? Rate this on a scale of 1 – 5, with 5 being the highest level of mutual trust and support and 1 the lowest.
What about the people in some of the outer circles, could they come closer? Have some moved away? Who, are the people who make you laugh, think, or you just feel comfortable and safe with?
Community Boosters
- Treasure the people you trust and know and let them know how much you treasure them.
- Build memories with the people you trust and know, easier to do if there is some consistent pattern to your contact.
- Find ways to spend more time with your friends
- Find fun things to do with your friends.
- Prioritise building a store of strong and shared memories with your friends and family.
- Write down what you treasure about your close friends, what makes them special to you.
- Don’t just rely on social media to maintain your friendships, pick up the phone, arrange to meet in person.
So, in terms of your community:
- Who and what do you need to let go of? –
- What do you need to take on? –
- What are you going to do, now?
